Mind the Gap! A Third Baby

Mind the Gap! A Third Baby

Now that Adam and I have been married for almost a year, we seem to have faced ‘the baby question’ on a regular basis.

I’ve always been very open and honest about my personal life and genuinely don’t mind being asked but the issue is that I really don’t have an answer yet! Of course, the topic of a baby is something we’ve discussed in great depth between the two of us over the course of our relationship.

Being naturally anxious means that I have my own reservations about reproducing, including my age, financial security, my career (I’m not ready to take a break and, even if the hypothetical baby arrived on a Friday night, that could prove somewhat inconvenient!) and the fact that I almost died giving birth to Lucie has left me nervous about putting my body through that level of trauma again. (This isn’t even an exaggeration – you know it’s bad when your midwife starts panic crying as she calls for a surgeon…)

Adam doesn’t have any children so we have a lot to take into consideration if and when the time arrives to make that life-changing decision. Another minor concern of mine is the undeniable age gap. With Megan being 17 years old and Lucie turning 14 next month, this means that there would be at least 15 years between my girls and any future sibling/s.

That’s if all went to plan of course as, thanks to further medical treatment I had throughout my twenties, it means that the even the possibility of conceiving naturally could prove tricky in the future. Fun, huh?

I took to the blogging community and asked for opinions on the old ‘age gap’ debate – here’s what they had to say:

“The way I look at a big gap is.. free babysitters 👌🏼 No in all seriousness if it’s something you both want then you will make it work 😊” – Amy from The Smallest Of Things

I have an 11-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. It’s magical! They adore each other and I have lots of help when my daughter is not at school. It works perfectly ☺” – Em from Em Linthorpe

Personally, I don’t think there is a right or wrong way do it. It is very much about each individual family and experience. I love being a mum, so the way I see it is… if you have a large age gap then you get to enjoy those parenting years for longer!” – Emma from Our Fairytale Adventure

“I have a 10 year age gap between my kids (not chosen things just didn’t happen as easy as they should) they are 12 and 2 years old. Our eldest is so good with her little sister  I don’t think there’s a ‘perfect age gap’ and those asking when the next one is coming along need to remember that it doesn’t happen as easy for some people as it does for others (personal pet peev)” – Nicola from A Blogs Life

“There’s a 10.5 month age gap between my girls. As much as I wouldn’t change things, I often think a few more years between them would have been easier!” – Zoe from The Tale Of Mummyhood

We have 4 children – and although there are 4/5 years between each of them the age gap between the oldest and youngest is about 12 years. Our oldest is 17(18 next month) and the youngest is 6 at Christmas. 
So they go, 17,13,9&5

For us, it worked out really well. They are all co-dependent and having the older siblings helps with the development of life skills. With the older ones, they feel responsible for the small ones. It’s also handy because babysitters, but also my youngest son has severe special needs and the only one I’d leave him with is my eldest, nobody else can cope with him 😂. But they’re like two peas in a pod!” – Vikki from Mum Times Two

“I have less than 12 months between my youngest two and the bond they have is so close. They are both mischievous little monkeys but I wouldn’t have it any other way!”– Ashleigh from 3 Girls Mummy 

“Not me, but a friend of mine from my NCT group had her son when her daughter was 21 so quite a big age gap. It was never an issue for them and the older sibling loves how involved she can be in terms of helping out etc” – Sarah from Arthurwears

I don’t think age gaps matter at all once the siblings are older. When they are young it can be nice to have them closer in age but my best friend is my sister and she’s 9 years younger than me!” – Natasha from Mummy and Moose

One of the closest and loving families I ever knew had 2 children with 2 years between them, followed by 2 more children about 14 years later, again with 2 years between them. all of the children were extremely close and still are to this day.

“I would have the same issue, I have one daughter aged 17 and my younger partner (by 10 years) would like a child, so we’d be looking at a big age gap. That wouldn’t stop me at all, the only thing stopping me is my age (the big 40!) and finances! If you’re willing and able I would never hesitate” – Lynette from Reclusive Fox

“Age is irrelevant when it comes to siblings in my opinion. I’m 34 and am just as close to my 24-year-old brother than I am my 36-year-old sister. My mum said we both adored our brother and were old enough to help with nappy changes etc too so she loved the extra help” – Jo from Miracle Max

“There are 4.5 years between my two, and I keep thinking about having number 3, however, there would be 9 years between the eldest and the baby and I wonder if that’s just a bit too much. Having said that my childminders daughters are 19 & 17 and she’s pregnant with number 3 and it doesn’t seem to be causing them any concerns” – Sarah from Champagne and Petals 

“There are 20 years between my dad’s oldest and youngest brothers. The oldest is now 83. They are all close and the younger ones help out the older ones all the time. I envy it. There are 8 of them in total” – Kelly from The Best Version Of Kelly

“There’s a 12 year age gap between my first and second and there will be 18 months between second and third, (13 between 1st and 3rd) It was strange doing the baby thing again but the bond they have is lovely, and it’s nice to have the help from an older child!” – Amy from Mama Mighalls

“I have 1.5-year gap between my two girls. It was so we could get back to “normal” soon! But there’s a 26-year gap between me and my half brother. I hardly know him! ” – Rebecca from Becster.com 

I don’t think an age gap matters, it’s the family bond. I have a half sister 7 years old than me, a sister two years younger. And my brother is 2 and half years younger than her. I don’t speak to any of them” – Lyndsay-Rose from My Family Of Roses

What do you think about having a large age gap between siblings? Have you experienced this yourself? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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1 Comment

  1. last year's girl 8th August 2017 / 10:09 am

    Well, I have absolutely no skin in this game as somebody with no children, but I do know from observing my brother’s stepdaughters with their little brother there can be so much love in age-gap families. My sister-in-law was married before, but my brother was desperate for a baby and Max is the most loved child I’ve ever seen! He has just turned one, and his sisters are… 13, 17 and 21, I think. Lots of help for you around the house too, if you do decide that your family isn’t complete!

    Of course, it’s not an easy as just deciding you’re going to get pregnant, particularly if you’ve had complications before, but you and Adam will figure it out. Best of luck, whatever you decide.

    Lis / last year’s girl x
    last year’s girl recently posted…culture consumption: july 2017;My Profile

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