The more they’re wrapped up in their own tales, the less I have to talk, thus making the whole scenario less awkward for us all. I’m in awe of those brilliant personalities who can capture an audience and wow the crowds with their radiant energy and charm.
You know the ‘Person Who Can Find A Cat At Any Party’ memes? That’s me in real life. Seriously. The last two parties Adam and I attended, I managed to find cats (jackpot) and spent more time fussing over them than I did socialising with actual human beings. I even hung out with a dog at a wedding we attended a couple of years ago.
That said, I promise I’m not intentionally being ignorant, standoffish or rude as it may seem. I like people, I really do. I find them fascinating, draining and perplexing, all at the same time. Making small talk leaves me with sweaty palms and, in my mildly terrified state, I end up overcompensating by blurting out random things, such as: “Do you like cake? I really love cake. All kinds of cake! I mean, who doesn’t like cake, right?! Steam trains are awesome too. I’m such a train nerd!” then laugh maniacally until the inevitable silence ensues.
I simply find some everyday situations, the ones that some of you take for granted, completely overwhelming. Being in a room full of acquaintances makes me feel like an alien yet have no problem talking to individual people about our respective life goals, hopes and dreams, politics and I also enjoy a good debate. Go figure.
My introverted core means that I’m left feeling utterly depleted when I’ve done a little too much ‘peopling’ and need time to recover. This involves occasionally spending a whole weekend at home in my own company, for the sake of my wellbeing. Entertaining impromptu visitors is a daunting concept and I require a good few days notice ahead of these rare occurrences.
Having a hobby such a blogging may seem somewhat contradictory – hypocritical even – for a girl who enjoys solitude. However, this is my creative space and a way of getting my ramblings out into the world when my voice fails me.
I’m so very lucky to have friends and family around who understand and accept that I’d rather be home in my PJs with a book on a Friday night than constantly out and about; they don’t push me to be somebody that I’m not. What about you? Are you a fellow introvert, extrovert or somewhere in between?